Creating Peace Through Balance
Healthy Vibrant Blog
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theresa@healthyvibrantyou.com

Peace, Love, and the B Word

Watching someone you love go through a hard time can be painful and upsetting, especially when you can feel what they are going through or intuitively know what they need. I’m not talking about coming from a place of judgement or your own experience. I’m talking about genuine intuitive knowing of and feeling into what they need to make the situation better.

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For those of us who are empathetic, watching another unravel and witnessing their unwillingness to make changes is even more painful than going through the situation ourselves.
We are not only feeling their pain, but we feel completely powerless to do anything to change it. We see the path that will lead them to happiness and peace, but cannot force them to walk it.


So many people that I know (myself included) have at some point been so deeply affected by another person’s pain that we have become shells of ourselves, doing everything in our power to help them to the point of our own depletion. One day, we look in the mirror and don’t recognize ourselves anymore. We are super thin or holding a lot of weight, not sleeping, not taking care of ourselves—health, hair, skin, etc.

While it is true that we need to give another the dignity of his own process, it is not true that we are completely powerless.

Here are 5 things that I’ve found help me maintain my peace and balance in the midst of someone else’s insanity, in no particular order:

  1. Let him know that you Love him no matter what. Let him know that you are always going to Love him, no matter what choices he makes. It really helps each of us to know that there is one person out there who will not judge us and will be there if and when the bottom drops out.

  2. Keep your mouth shut. (This includes your energy.) Really. Keep your mouth shut unless asked for your opinion. This will prevent you from getting swept into the whirlwind of he said, she said. IF you are going to say something, say it directly to the person, and not behind his back.

  3. Pray and send positive thoughts, whatever this looks like for you. Pray for the best possible outcome for the person. Note: What you think is the best possible outcome might not be right for him. Be open to what the Universe has in store and let go of your limited perspective.

    If prayer is not your thing, send Love, visualize, and FEEL him being happy, healthy, full of joy, and free.

  4. Employ boundaries. Manage your own energy by deciding what is right for you in terms of things like communication, exposure, and setting. Set up your experience so that you do not feel depleted at the end of an interaction. If a conversation is wearing on you, excuse yourself and take a breather.

  5. Remove yourself from the situation. There are some times where you might just have to remove yourself completely. This does not mean that you close off the connection of Love, but it does mean that you Love yourself enough to do what is best for you at the time. This could be temporary, or long-term, depending on the situation.
In order to show up as your best self and to be able to hold the energy and the light for someone else, you need to have boundaries. This is a dirty word to so many HSPs. It seems counterintuitive for so many of us who feel that it is our Purpose to help others to say, “That is enough” and stop a situation before our energy is sucked dry and we are depleted.

Boundaries are important, and it is equally important to remember that they are moveable. You can pick and choose where thy go and when they are needed and do not have to explain them to anyone else.

Trust me on this. I’ve tested it. As long as you put Love first (for yourself and others) things will always work out for the best.



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theresa@healthyvibrantyou.com

Want to make the world a better place? Here are 5 things you probably forget to do.

As people who feel called to serve the world in a very deep way, we often burn the candle at both ends—alternating between states of superhuman productivity and hiding under a blanket with the blinds drawn to re-charge our batteries. This is often because our Work does not feel like work. We feel accomplished and balanced when we are working toward a goal that makes the world better in some way.

The fact is, that our Work IS work. It requires our focus, and very often a lot of energy movement. We are often working for what we LOVE on top of, or in addition to, a job that we already work full-time. This means we are sometimes already tired, but that we are so devoted and dedicated, that we forget about ourselves and our physical bodies in the process.

Image courtesy of Michael Elliott at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of Michael Elliott at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The key here is to see ourselves as pitchers full of water. We pour our water into all of the glasses around us—people, work, situations. When we run out of water, we are depleted and we have absolutely nothing to give to others. The goal is to always have water (energy) in your pitcher. Whether your Work is parenting, social justice, channeling, healing, or anything else, the principle is the same.

Here are 5 things to remember to that can help you to remain balanced and give you more energy to accomplish your Work:

1. Eat. Sometimes, when deep in the throes of working on something we are passionate about, we forget to eat. Sometimes, we just feel we "don't have time to eat." Other times, we forget that we are as important as the people and causes we are nurturing and don't make the time to be sure that we have the proper foods prepared and available to us. We get to the point of "I NEED TO EAT NOW" and grab whatever is fast and/or on-hand—EVEN if we are allergic to it!

You will see, maybe in the mirror, that a lot of people out there who you perceive as having a huge life mission either hold extra weight, are out of shape, or look emaciated and drained. Many even alternate between these stages. (Aside: food is not the only reason for this. There are energetic boundaries to be addressed at a later time that come into play here, as well.)

Taking the time to feed ourselves properly does a few things:

• It changes subtle lack-mentality that sabotages us. Saying that we don't have enough time or that there are not enough hours in a day for what we need to accomplish keeps us living in the illusion of lack.

• By fueling ourselves with the proper foods—as fresh and seasonal as possible—we create the most potential energy for our bodies to function and remain healthy.


2. Sleep. Many times, we ignore the signs that our bodies are tired and need to rest. (This is especially common in those of us who have spent a lot of time working in an office environment.) Forcing ourselves to continue working when our bodies say otherwise is actually a form of violence against the self. At the very least, it makes us less productive and we can easily spend an hour or two on something that should only have taken 10 minutes.

Getting a full night's sleep strengthens out immune system, allows the nervous system to re-set itself properly, and helps mood. Plus, resting when we need to rest allows us to come back to our Work with sharper focus and be much more productive.

3. Breathe. This is normally the first thing to go out the window when we are being challenged or are working on something that requires our undivided attention and focus. Simply put, our bodies need oxygen to function—each cell, organ, and neuron. When we are constantly breathing in a shallow way, we are depriving ourselves of a basic nutrient that we need to function properly. Just taking pause and breathing a couple of deep breaths is enough to calm the nervous system and re-focus the mind.

What I've learned is that if I am not breathing properly, I am exerting more of my own will and energy, instead of allowing the Guidance to flow to and through me.

4. Move. Many of us are dawn to spiritual practices (like kundalini yoga and meditation) over other kinds of practices and would rather invest time there. This is great, and these things may be necessary to your growth and development, but they often involve long periods of sitting or being still. The truth is, we are all in a physical body, and one of the things the physical body needs to function properly is movement. For this reason, it is important to balance these periods of sitting with periods of movement—whatever that looks like for you.

Moving the physical body is also a quick way to get energy moving. If you feel resistance to moving, take it to meditation and ask yourself, "Where is it that I am resisting change in my life?" and you will very likely unblock yourself!

5. Ground. It seems that we highly sensitive people spend a LOT of time disconnected from our bodies.

There are many reasons why we become ungrounded, but the hard part is making sure that we take the time to ground again. We can only really be strongly rooted in what we are here to do if we have both feet firmly on mother earth. This grounded energy is what needs to be harnessed for manifestation and it is the missing ingredient for so many of us.

As we feel called to go out and help the world, it is easy for us to lose sight of ourselves and what we need in and from it. As highly spiritual people, we are used to going "upward" for guidance and not grounding downward into the earth, but this is what is necessary in order to manifest our big plans and dreams in this reality. As we practice groundedness, we will naturally become more in-tune with our bodies and hear what they are asking for. Taking good care ourselves in the physical reality ensures that we will have the strength and energy to go forth and carry out the Work we know we are called to do, as well as all of the other things that require our time and attention.

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